Love Isn’t for Romantics

Love Isn’t for Romantics

I’ll be sending love to my husband from a distance this Valentine’s Day. He has an extended business trip for which I cannot join him due to my own commitments. So our embraces will remain spiritual, stretching from the mountains to the oceanside. Our thoughts and wishes will not touch more than our minds and hearts this year. Yet we’re closer in many ways than we have been in past Valentine’s Days. 

Many feel even less included in this month’s holiday than I will. February highlights romance and all things sugar-coated about how relationships should seem. I have serious qualms about the happily-ever-after tales which include little or no effort when things get difficult. As if fate demonstrates itself by your feelings and the circumstances, so one either has fallen into perfect love or must allow it to find them elsewhere. As a counselor, I have seen the damage of unrealistic expectations when couples believe ongoing stomach butterflies define true love. Some abandon commitment in times of disappointment, crisis, or boredom. Others suffer from abuse, rejection, or loneliness. 

While advertising insists upon love as a romantic notion of fate and goey emotions, this concept reflects phenylethylamine, norepinephrine, and dopamine reactions instead. The fluttery neurochemical experience fades after a short period of time. 

Those experiencing isolation, brokenheartedness, or other major let-downs this Valentine’s Day can find encouragement in the true definition. Because perfect love isn’t for romantics.  It isn’t a notion, feeling, fate, or happenstance into which one falls. Nor is it restricted to romantic relationships. We see its signature in healthy motherhood, selfless neighborly support, care for the needy. Its hallmarks include commitment, sacrifice, unconditional acceptance. We find this true heart of life by intentionally seeking it. Unlike romance, real love has no expiration date looming.

True love, in fact, isn’t a thing but a WHO.

Jesus Christ proved his identity as LOVE incarnate.

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters” ( 1 John 3:16, NIV).

Christ as our source, conduit, and receiver of all pure love offers us:

  • Unrestricted access for those who choose him – this love isn’t reserved for couples or privileged socio-economic groups.
  • Eternal experience – unlike phenylethylamine’s tummy butterflies, God’s love continues to bless our hearts forever.
  • Fearless love – because our love centers upon and springs from the omnipotent Creator, we never need to live in the insecurity of losing the source of our deepest fulfillment.
  • Unshakable strength and joy – Perfect Love Himself provides indefatigable support to the heart and soul. Circumstances cannot diminish his powerful love or separate us from him.

If you’d like to experience Perfect Love, simply ask Jesus Christ to dwell in your heart as Lord. He alone will offer you the fulfillment your heart and soul crave. 

You might already know Christ as your heart’s true love, yet feel disconnected and lonely right now.  If so, you could benefit from opening yourself as an aqueduct. Pray for the Lord to show you how to serve as a vessel through which he can pour freshly through your life into others.  As we love others from his heart’s outpouring through us, we experience more fulfilling connections to Christ and others.

May the Lord wrap his loving presence around you. May the embrace of Christ’s Holy Spirit warm your soul. And may his love stream forever through your heart to bless others.


If you need some self-care and sisterly love, join us on February 11th for a Soul Care and Chocolate Spa Party on the Arise Esther Facebook page!

The DELICIOUS & FREE event you’ve been craving will air live at 4:30 PM ET! You can watch the replay for flash sales, recipes, and humor, but certain prizes will be awarded if you attend live!

Join amazing speakers, comedians, & experts like

  • Linda Evans Shepherd
  • Dr. Sabrina Black
  • Kerri Pomarolli
  • Rhonda Rhea
  • Edie Melson
  • and I’ll even show up wearing a GREEN face mask!

Don’t miss this night of prizes, stress-relief techniques, humor, prayer, chocolate recipes, and DIY facials! Look forward to free gifts, flash sales, AND A TON OF AMAZING PRIZES!!! Be there to win and to enjoy an hour of rejuvenation, fun, and inspiration with friends!!

Leave a Reply